difference or indifference?

brilliant! the pics are up! thanks darling for the effort... (:

well done! hehe. yupyup. tt's basically the one month that we were together..

beautiful memories.. but i can't believe sweetie actually put a picture of my post card up!! ish. so ugly. lol.

anyway, my turn to blog le!!!

hmm.. actually i have nothing much to say.

it's all about baby actually.. lolx.

maybe wad i wanted to say was this, i duno if it's i give up on all relationships alreay or is it i'm treating u differently, or is it i've lowered my expectations until duno where le, or i'm too lazy to care, or is it i'm scared of what the outcome will be...

ya. bet everyone would be going like, huh?

well, it goes like this, in every relationship, communication is always always tops on my list. and it's also what made my ex-es go mad i think. with the both of them, i expected alot. but in this relationship, i think i chose to give up le. not that i dun mind, but i think i'm so numb and dead that i've totally given up on yelling and nagging.

haha. was thinking.. if i treated Ken the way i treated you now, den we'd still be together. every night he had to call me.. irregardless of what he had on.. and by a specific time. even if he was not out with me, i wanted him to be home.. i duno why. yup. i was that tyrannical.

i wanted their world to revolve round mine..and that's all. jun chong tried to do it to the best of his ability and he sacrificed alot, and Ken was by nature a loner... but whatever little frens he had, he tried to give them up for me i guess. he was never allowed to come back later den 2 if he was meeting his frens for supper. lol. tt was how strict i was. but strangely enough, he managed to do it i guess..

i'm also a super jealous girl. dun need to talk about human girls.. i can get jealous over the worst things. for jun chong was his family and frens, for ken it was his family, frens and computer. anything that competed with me for my bf's time, i would hate it. literally. and my hatred for something can be reali reali scary.

oh well. for ross, i duno why i'm different. is it indifference? have i truly changed for the better? or am i just numb from past relationships?

with you, i can't seem to open up and tell u things that i normally could tell my others bfs. it's as if i'm pai seh like that. but it shouldn't be like that, rite.. ?

but with u.. there are alot of ways in which u make me happy too..

sigh.

i duno.