Planning phase.

You know its one of those days where you want to talk things out and clear it out with your partner.. but you can't say it.

1) You don't want to spoil the mood.
2) You're afraid the next quarrel might end the relationship.
3) You have too much to say but so little time.

So I kinda bombarded a 5 SMS long message to her =/.

Don't wanna waste handphone memory so I'll just type it out here.. and to reflect about what I said too.

Mel -

"Carl Carl, mel mel glad to see you today. It sems like you're watching over me as I sleep. You're very precious in my eyes, I love you. =)"

Me -

"I love and care for you, thats why.
I'll always be your guardian angel so long as you are with me.
I've been seriously thinking of my life recently.
I want to sign on in the army when I go in.
I think I've told you that.
You played a part in that decision I made.
I want to be a mature man.
And a brave strong person to take care of my loved ones.
I'll be financially stable to start a family too.
When I make a decision I put my whole to achieve it.
Melmel.. I'm going to start a new life for the better for us, or myself.
Would you want to be with me?
I won't be d pretty boy anymore.. It'll be my job.
Thoughts?"

Yeah.. I want you to be part of my life.
I don't want to be in the army thinking that you are straying away.
This is going to be very tough, and the last thing I need is more things to worry and distract myself. I might have to go through this alone for the first few years before I can think about dating another girl again if you're not together with me. But it would be very morally encouraging to have someone supporting and loving you always. Oh well.. I'm kinda prepared to go through this alone anyway. I have to be strong.. I will be strong. I'll train no matter how hard it takes.

The next step that I have to do is.. to let my parents know about this decision.
I guess they'll be in for quite a shock. Probably the people around me would be in disbelief that I can make it.. or I won't be able to endure this.
But I wanna prove them.. I will.
I've wasted enough time in my life.. idling .. relaxing.
I think I've had enough fun =).
No regrets so far.
If all goes well.. after the recruitment talk in the first month of BMT.
I will decide if the salary and job scope is feasible.. and I'll finally make the application.
I know you guys probably say its still too early to make such a decision.. but when is the right time? After I've gone through 2 years of NS?
The perks are alot better if I sign on earlier I think. I'll see how.
If the pay is all the same if I sign on earlier or later.. of course I'll take my time to decide.
Its funny how money can change a person.
But it'll change me to be a better person.. army can't make u less of a man right?
Army will change me to be a matured person.
Yeah.. I need to keep this optimistic mindset all the way.
The last thing I want to happen is.. tell the whole world I'm signing on and back out at the last minute.
So I'm just keeping this to a few people.. until I've made my mark.



I know this is TOTALLY RANDOM. Well.. what the heck. HaHAhhaah..