What Love Is.

I respect your decisions, as much as I would like to help everybody.. unless I'm with you.. I wouldn't know what's happening around them until they seek for me. I'm feeling rather happy recently, I kinda feel bad posting such things when you're down.

It feels like we're getting closer and closer to each other. You never fail to make me feel loved. I don't know how you do it, but you really seem to be able to handle the two of us at the same time. Of course, I wouldn't like it at all when you're with him, I want to you to reach that point of stage where.. you don't even need to choose at all. I never believed in forcing a person to love you, however I think love can be manipulated in certain ways, but ultimately.. it's just proving how capable you are in caring for a person. I want to return that love to you, I need to do something big this eventful period. 22th will be our 1month, Feb 9 will be your birthday, then Valentines day.

Theres this strong desire to outshine your boyfriend, to make you feel that you would be happier with me. I must be confident in myself, be more creative. So what if he has a bigger spending power than me? I'll think of something, I wonder if God would help me. Grant me the knowledge to know what to do. I'm horrible, asking for God's help in such small situations or whenever I need him. But I think I'm starting to take in what Don said.

What's true love you say? It only comes from God. Humans are incapable of totally loving someone with all their heart. I'm not sure if I feel 100% loved by God, but I'll take him as someone that is a superior being and who is more perfect than humans.

For now, I'm sticking with my concept of love. Love isn't a feeling, (although it feels damn good and high at times), but rather, Love is an ability.
Are you able to care and accept someone who isn't exactly your ideal mate? Are you able to love them unconditionally at your utmost ability? No matter what your history was, I love you for who you are now. I must admit it was largely attraction at first sight, but I believe we both felt a deeper sense of attachment for each other. We're both capable of loving and satisfying each other's needs, but would we last? I guess thats always the question in every relationship.

I foresee us being together for a long time, as lovers, as friends too. But I just know that one day you have to choose. Sometimes I wonder too, what do you see in me. Is simplicity really all we need? That's awesome. I really hope things can continue the way it is now, at the same time, I don't really like sharing much. Though, if you continue loving me the way you do now, I'll be content for a good amount of time. I guess I really shouldn't ask for too much.

I want to be talented in some ways. Knowledgeable in areas. I want to be useful.
I guess all I have is just looks, decent personality and a bunch of useless skills.
Nothing impressive. Nothing to really talk about. Nothing to be proud of.
Man.. I sometimes my self esteem hits me bad ): But sometimes I think I expect too much from myself. Garhs. In a positive light, I'm always trying to improve. But it's tiring for lil carl carl sometimes ): . I'm waiting for the opportunity to shine. I wonder where I'll be after NS.

I'm gonna be prepared at least.



Interesting Ant documentary for a change!
Crap, ants are evolving into super organisms. Starship Troopers is slowly becoming real. :S