sometimes..

darling, first and foremost, i'm reali sorry for jumbling up your brain. i guess guys are not girls, or rather, you are not me, so we'll never reali understand how each other feels.

we can get the gist of it, but we can never reali understand it. i guess, it was my fault to begin with. i was in the dumps with my ex and when u came along, you were there for me, and i began to fall for you.

i reali love you, and you're the best kind of guy any girl can get. but, i duno, do u feel the passion when you're with me?

you give one a sense of stability. as in, i can't go wrong with being with you. you're a safe and responsible guy, and there's nothing wrong in that.

but now, at my age, or rather, for me, i guess i want things to be romantic, wild, passionate. and that's not you. (: it's nothing good or bad, it's just a matter of character. and i also don't think i'm the right kind of girl for you. sigh.

i duno how?

you're more of a friend person, while i'm not. you want to spend your birthday with ur frens having fun and laughing the night away. i'm more of the kind that wants a romantic dinner, just the two of us, with a scenic view and candles, etc.. you're peace-loving, i'm more of a radical, where i'll go all out to make a point. haiz.. and the list goes on..

i duno if you have an attraction to me or not. i rememebered you saying that relationships, or rather, love can be built as time goes by. but i'm the kind that believes at love at first sight and thereafter, start off with already loving each other. but with us, it's more like, we're trying to make this work. sigh.

my fault. i should have known better then to let my feelings get mixed up.

that's why i can tolerate alot of things that you do i guess. it's like, the more i love you, the more i would bother to nag and complain about this and that. but our relationship is like, so formal. i don't nag at you for fear that you'd blow..

lol. maybe i want a guy that would text me randomly to say that he misses me, or getting a surprise by him waiting by the school gate that kind. sure, we'll get into alot of fights, but we do know that we love each other. i was thinking, perhaps i know what ur ex meant when she said u were too nice and the relationship was just too perfect.

it's like, i think in every relationship, sacrifices has to be made when u enter into one. true, i agree that i fell for you because u were a nice guy and all. but can u imagine how i would feel if u were nice to every other girl too? just because u'r a nice guy in general? like, u would open the door for me everyitme, take my bag from me, even before we were together. so, would u do this to every other girl too? since it's part of being gentlemanly and all. i would be so jealous la..

lol. anyway. i duno. in all my past relationships, they all had their lives pretty much centred round me, and mine around theirs. yup. then u would bring in the issue of "frens are forever, gfs are whatever." see? that's where we don't see eye to eye. and i know it would be reali tough on u if i made u give up ur frens for me, hence, i never did say anything.

but the fact remains that we're so different. i duno.

i duno what i'm thinking off anyway. the more i blog, the more messed up i become.

aiyo! headache.

got work to hand in tomorrow!!! ugh. assignments.

*oh man. i didn't know that u were training for me. i reali appreciate that. *swoons* ur muscles are beautiful. thank you darling.. (: