looking back..

"it's the hardest thing i'll ever have to do,
to turn around and walk away,
pretend that i don't love you.."

a song from 98 degrees. today i was thinking, letting go has got to be the hardest thing, and yet, everyone of us, in one point of time of another must have experienced it. for me, it's more than once..

but at the end if the day, we grow up after every experience, whether we like it or not. and i guess, that is how, through time, we become weary of people, and their motives and everything else..

i remember my first relationship. i got ditched. ya.. felt that my entire world was collapsing and that i didn't want to live anymore (ya, the usual drama-mama in me), but i'm glad i survived. looking back, alot of ppl helped me through this period. i didn't want to let go of the relationship for quite awhile, and time and again, i swore to get back at him somehow. haha. but now, we're still pretty good frens. (:

i've been on both sides of the relationship spectrum before, getting ditched, and ditching people. and both sides are equally bad to be in, trust me. it's not about who has got higher "authority" or anything, or about "face". i duno what is it about though. haven't reali figured that one out yet.

having said all this, here is my main point. i wanna thank all my ex-es in my life. u guys have been great. reali. not one of u have treated me badly, and all of u have been very very supportive about the things that i do. and for that, i thank God for each of you. all of you have played a MAJOR role in my life, and i cannot thank you enough. i'm glad i'm still frens with all of you..

to joel, ours was a reali short relationship. 1 week? lol. but you taught me how to appreciate my family and how blessed i was to not have to work and study and play at tournaments at the same time. (:

to jun chong, thank you for being a friend to me when i was friend-less. 2 years huh.. lol. thanks also for ur patience with me and for everything that u were willing to sacrifice. it was not easy as i was new at this and i was reali a domineering gf, who wanted everything to be done my way. but thank you for ur tolerance and ur understanding.. and for being there for me whenever i needed help.

to ken, thank you. we lasted for 8 months? lol. but we were good frens for a much longer time than that huh. lol. i've seen almost every single side of u before. thank you for helping me get over failed relationships and u reali made me experience love again. i remember i was so cynical about the word "love" that i was kinda numb to it. but u made me fall for you, fast, and hard. the things that u did for me, i'll never ever forget those (even if i get a concussion). you amazed me and i never thot fairy tales existed in real life. ours was a beautiful relationship. full of ups and downs, fights and love, but at the end of the day, i realised that we truly did love each other. you taught me alot of life lessons. how to get along with my family, how to be a better person, how to make correct decisions, etc.. u treated me like a princess, and u gave me everything i could ever wish for. for that, i'm thankful.

to ross, our relationship was not that long either. 1 month plus? but i reali want to thank you for the care and concern that you've shown me. for the sacrifices that u made for me, and the countless car rides. 13 years of friendship huh. not bad! and we still co-own a blog. lol. thank you for ur lame jokes and u cheering me up. i'll never forget how i can always request for a joke, and u'll try ur best to come up with one. and the fairy tale u told me about "the princess and the pea". whatever i asked u to do, u would. thank you. you were a perfect gentleman in every way, and i hope u do find the right girl/guy that is suited to be with you for the rest of their life. *huggies* let's continue to be good frens ya?

we started with a song, now let's end with another..

"looking back where i came from,
and i had to tell you in this song,
without you,
where would i be?"

sung by aaron carter, one of my fav artistes. *no protests please* (in denial)