Sweethearts: i'm reali sorry

nope. you're right. i'm the bitch and i don't deserve your love at all. reali.

it reali is my fault from the very beginning. i shouldn't have actaully allowed myself to fall for you or actually go into a relationship knowing that i was still raw from my past failed relationship. and for that, i'm deeply sorry.

for the way i've actually condemned you and how you treat your frens, it's my bad too. guys are always talking about loyalty and i know that to most of them, their frens come first. you're already very good to me in terms of sacrificing your time for me. on hindsight, i think you reali did quite alot for me, and i don't deserve it. at all.

i did nothing to deserve that love from you. you were willing to give your all, but i was only willing to give.. i duno? less then what u gave?

makes everyone think that i'm a bad girl? i am. and to evryone who is reading this now, pls believe ross's side of the story and whatever he says.

to top it all, i'm reali sorry, it was my fault.

perhaps, we're too different in terms of how we view things le. and no, i won't ever bother you again should i need any help. i was the one who condemned ur treatment of frens and i would feel guilty to once again ask u for help.. u thought that we were perfect together, but we were not. i guess we both wanted 100% from each other before we reali put in OUR 100%. so at the end of the day, knowing that each other couldn't accomplish that, we became what we are now. i needed to see that u wanted me so so badly that u couldn't do without me in ur life, and when ur frens came into the picture, i guess i felt that i was dispensible, like any other paper cup or plate. my fault for reading all ur good intentions wrongly.

likewise, i guess u also wanted me to chase you and u got sick of being the one having to put in the effort. i could relate to that. but i think i just couldn't relate to the fact that a girl should have to chase a guy. lol. kinda silly. i duno. with you, i felt that we were both holding back. just a girl's intution. at the end of the day, i knew that even if i could let this pass, one day, eventually you would feel that i'm suffocating you, and hence, i thought it would be better to end it when it was still early.

but what i meant to ask is still this, u were the one who told me that as long as one party does not let the other one down, then there is no reason not to trust them, right? so what about the love at first sight thing? =x just a thought..

you did give me alot of happy memories and i appreciate them all.. reali.

guess i thought u had nothing u wanted to do, hence you did my hw with me. but those are the times i'll never forget. all my As and Bs, u helped me attained them. you helped me pass my first semester without getting lost. without you, i wouldn't have survived, with all the technical difficulties and all. i'm sorry for hurting u so bad.

if u want my life, feel free to take it. i feel super bad about what i did to you too. it's my fault, and i won't deny that.

this post is to and for you. sorry for being such a bitch (for lack of a worse term..)