Jaded..

Yes the title of this post is "Jaded."
I still wonder how to display post titles on the blog webpage. Anyone know how?
I've been feeling very lousy, unmotivated, lethargic these days.
Damn it why? I need to start getting my body in shape.
Your mind plays a huge role in pushing your body pass it limits.
To improve, strengthen and .. well improve.
I hope its because its just the first day I hit the gym after one whole month.
My body feels weak, my mental determination is at 30% only.
I fuxing sux. And that must change. I'll continue gyming 5 days a week at least.
I must improve, its pathetic if I enter army in this state.
I'm aiming for my far fetch'd dream to be a Commando Officer right?
Hah.. actually being a Commando itself is quite an achievement already.

Why?
How do you freeze your heart and unfreeze it 6months later?
I hope you keep your promise to go all out for me in time to come.
Even if I'm with another girl.
Even if I seem happy with another person.
Would you still go all out to win my heart like I used to do for you?
Would you persevere as long as I did?

This is what I think will happen in 6 months time.
We will still keep in contact of course. Maybe once in 2 or 3 days we will send a SMS or a call.
I'll get upset when I call and you don't pick up. Because I only have that small amount of time at night to call.
I'll get upset when I book out and you're not there to spend time with me.
I'll probably spend more time with my army friends. I don't have a reason not to anyway. Cause I wouldn't have anyone else to spend my time with.
I'll probably start experiencing clubbing life with my army friends.
I'll meet new people and I wonder if I have the time to even chase another girl while I'm in the army.
It's close to 6 months and we've been through ALOT.
Another 6 months, I really cannot imagine how things will change.
I won't forgive myself for letting you go now if you drift apart.
But still, I have to let you go.
Because it is what you want.
I don't force people.
I'll give you my 100% trust.
Trust that you'll come back for me.

Oh man, I've got too many anime to watch recently.
Nabari no Ou, Kekkaishi, Soul Eater, Real Drive, D Gray Man, Bamboo Blade.

Omfg and theres this game call Scarlet Weather Rhapsody I'm downloading.
Argh to Jamie! You intro me all the good stuff!



Our little Illusion Dragon.