Let me Bitch.

ArghH~. This is one of the few rare times I feel so uncomfortable meeting someone.
Let me bitch for abit. First few minutes into a conversation she starts spewing vulgarities, I just feel not at ease. Maybe I don't like CAPS, maybe I don't like people with large attitudes, maybe I don't like cocky girls. Maybe it's just her and her vulgarities. I don't like people who degrades others. Maybe its a clash of horoscopes. Nah can't be that, I've met nice Virgos too, I think.

Argh, I don't really like to judge people without really knowing them. But there are just some people who are already condemned in the beginning in my eyes. You want to get to know the other person, yet you are not sensitive to them. I'm not making any sense, I'm even having a hard type typing this. But I guess its simpler this way, I don't like Kristy. (:

Tadah.

Sometimes you need bad people to contrast and appreciate the ones you love.
Mel still remains number 1 in my eyes, yet why do I still have the tendency inside me to be open to new people? I can promise you if you are finally mine, I'll be 100% loyal. Oh man, how many times have I said that. I don't actively seek out potential partners anymore, but I do have one eye open for random acquaintances.

Looking back at just now, I guess I've sorta forgetten how to.. handle new people. I tried to read people before knowing them. It's starting to become a habit. Stop trying to be someone others might like. Good and bad I guess. But I think I should just really be myself in future. Greet with a smile. First impression always counts. Anyway.. point taken, just a reminder to self. Lol.

So what am I doing now?
Waiting. She's waiting too.
For things to be clear and to resolve certain issues.
She says in time to come she'll be all mine.
I wonder when will that be and whether we are still able to stay strong.
For now I feel weak.
I feel like I'm reverting back into a bum.
Chionging Cabal all day and watching anime.
So darn loser and unattractive.
But tomorrow I have to step out again.
Must continue to gym.
Damn and I should sleep regularly too.
I've been secretly gaming until the wee hours of the morning.
It's so not me to pay something for a free online game.
But I guess Cabal is worth it. Gamer mode seems to be reactivating in me again.
Unhealthy, maybe because I'm quite emo.
And I chose to let it out this way.
Might be going clubbing for the first time later today or on Thursday.
It's a secret for now. Still haven't decided if I wanna tell her or not.
I'm just going for the experience and friends.
I hope she holds me closely. Don't let me stray too far.
Sorry I just don't feel like doing much nowadays, I guess I'm still hurt.
Know that I still love you, just that I'm losing strength to give my all.
I hope we'll be together soon. I miss your undivided attention.



BIG BIRD FLU. LOLXORS.