2nd Book Out.

This.is.the.LAWL!

hahahha.. anyway.. video aside.

Army thoughts.
How did I feel?
Well it did seem like this week passed faster than the first two weeks.
Mainly we sorta had TONNES more of lectures.. but our physical training has been stepped up one more level too.
During my IPPT, I was happy and sad.
Happy cause I've improved in almost all my stations, mainly 2.4km.
I jumped from Green band to Yellow band.
Oh dear.. this means I'll be running with all the fastest guys in the company now.
Gosh.. but think positively.. I need this kind of high level training.
I need to hit 9.14 mins. I was dissapointed because I only ran 10.13 mins.
At the end of it I was like damn shagged.. felt abit like vomitting that kind.
But I know I can run at least abit faster.. but thinking about 9.13mins .. woah..
thats damn tough la!
Take a step back and give yourself a pat on the back, within 3weeks I managed to improve by 30 seconds. Hopefully in two weeks time, I can improve by another 15 seconds. Then final goal, is to run at least 9 30mins at the end of BMT.
I think I can do it if I'm in good health.
I was sick throughout the whole 3weeks in NS. If its not head ache - fever its flu and cough or sore throat. I'm recovering now I guess. Cough isn't that bad.. but its irritating.
Where is the feeling of bursting out of energy I had before army?
The feeling that I wanna run and run and run all the time.
But inside I'm always so tired! This shouldn't be happening, pfft.
Many at times I feel like giving up.
At my standard I could easily go for leadership courses in Tekong BMT.
But here, its not easy.
Physical fitness you should be getting Commando Gold.
But either way I'm lacking in ... leadership qualities?
I think to be able to lead, you must first learn how to follow.
I'm still following.. I'll help others in my own way.
Lead by example, not just all talk.
I don't want to put high hopes that I'll go into leader course.
But it shall be my aim, ultimately its not my choice either.
Positive feelings now.
There are times I enjoy being in the army, like the upcoming Ultimate Detachment Challenge. I like the feeling when our detachment wins something or everyone achieve something together.
Like running 2.4km and upgrading to Yellow band standard, those that upgraded with me was celebrating together. The feeling of accomplishment is always satisfying.
Keep this positive spirit up. Even if you're down or in pain, don't show it.
Always put a brave front.

I'm still weak to you though. Sighs. I wonder when will I stop thinking about relationships. Army is supposed to keep me fully occupied. But whenever I book out I get this other sian feeling. Like some of my friends are slipping away and I don't put the effort in keeping them either. What would make me happiest would be to spend time with you. But you don't give me enough. This week only 1 hour. Too short to even savour the moment.. sighs.
I want that comfortable feeling back. My heart feels being pulled by two sides. The feeling of going back to you and leaving you.