POP

I don't know where it began.
I feel down recently.
Is it because I didn't make it to leaders?
I hate the feeling when they tell you, you stand a good chance to become one and then decided not to put you in. Might as well not tell me at all.
I really gave my all during that last IPPT.
All stations 5 points.
9.26min for my 2.4km run. 12 seconds away from my Commando gold.
I never imagined I could run that fast.
Now I know its possible, I just have to keep pushing and pushing.

I don't know where it began.
Is it because you spend lesser time with me.
You contact me less frequent.
I'm just waiting and waiting.
I feel not important anymore.
I think I'm reaching the limit.
Maybe I need a break.
Maybe you need to start telling me what you truly mean.

Because I need to start making up my mind.
I want to grasp my future.
I know I don't have to understand everything.
But I still need you to constantly give me the assurance.
What am I to you.
Why can't we be together if we are truly in love.
I don't think its love anymore.
I'm losing the feeling we used to share.

Love me for who I am.
Stick with me through ups and downs.
I've promised you my everything.
You promised you wouldn't hurt me again.
Why do I feel this way again.
Where are you when I want you the most.

Finally its POP.
Its time for Phase 2 of my Commando training.
Training to be a Commando Medic.
Suddenly the fear of needles and blood start to strike me.
I pray for strength to overcome any trauma I may face.
A life saving skill, with these hands I can either save or kill a person.
Even though I didn't get into leader, I'll do my best in studying hard as a medic.
And of course, keep in mind I'm drawing closer to my Red Beret.
At least I'll achieve something respectable in life.
I won't feel so insignificant then.





My nephew said he wants to be a Commando too after watching my parade.. haha awWz.

Jungle hat FTW!
Good bye jockey cap.