Day 3

of the breakup. I still can't stop the heartache everytime I get the slightest memory of her. No doubt I miss her, I miss her presence, I miss the way she looks, every photo I have of her are only but happy memories. She's smiling, looking pretty, and I know I won't find another like her ever again. I thought blogging it out might destress some of the feelings inside me but it seems to make my heartache only stronger.

I met up and had a good chat with Don the day before. It helped alot. I want to thank you so much for being there to give sound advice and a listening ear whenever. Thank you for my all friends who offered to be there if I need them too. But I only need a few, one or two is fine. I never liked too much attention anyway. I'll get over in time, promise.

But I fear it won't be a short process. She has grown to be a huge part of my life in the past 3years and 4months. What do I do with her things in my place? What about all the gifts I wanted to give her? What about the plans we made? What about the anime we had watched halfway? Watching them by myself just feels so sad now.. What about the nights we could cuddle comfortably with.. what about her bites that actually hurts a bunch but strangely filled with love. What about the morning calls or the short chat sessions before I sleep. Who's going to drive her around and help with her grocery now, who's gonna help with her technical problems, update her ipod, download entertainment, bring her to good food places, play with her, put up with her past..

It started out as real as these tears I'm shedding now, eventually they'll just be fragments of memories. It probably is the toughest breakup I have ever had. When do two people say they love each other and then just leave? I know I'm part to play for initiating it, but I needed to make a decision for the better of the both of us. I'm sorry that I couldn't handle you anymore, it's just too much for us to bear. We both have our share of difficulties, but I guess at the end of this journey we just don't see each other standing hand in hand.

i'm slowly but surely picking myself up... i know you're doing the same too.. i sincerely wish you all the best in life..