Letter of all my feelings.

To the lovable cute melmel,

I've been always wanting to write you another letter, but I've never really had the chance to. Everyday with you was refreshing and fun, often spending the entire day just basking in your presence. When I reach home, all I want to do is to pick up the phone and listen to your voice until I fall asleep. How simple it was, to just enjoy one another without any worries. The only worry was whether we would die of having too much fun. Our relationship had taught me what love should be ideally. A natural connection filled with joy for one another. Some people seek meaning in life, some seek fulfillment in life and most seek for their one true love. It all boils down to a common purpose, everyone wants satisfaction for their soul. Be it in different forms, everyone would want to do what feels the best, if not, the best for others.

Just like love comes in many variations, I used to always think that love is the first feeling you feel, before all the bad stuff gets in the way. So what if we mess up time to time, nobody's perfect. As long each party are assured that they are loved, nothing should go wrong. Each day pass, even though I'm happy being with you, it hurts me to know that my love isn't being reciprocated. I miss how you would always secretly call me when you were at his house. I miss you sending those messages of love to me, I miss how you say the words "I love you" so tenderly. I know you don't like talking about such stuff, because whenever I try to talk to you, it feels like I'm pressurizing you into giving me a concrete answer. I don't want to rush you nor make you guilty, I just need to know where I stand in your life.

They say find someone you can live with. I beg to differ. I search for someone I can't live without. I've found that in you, but I expect the same too. The love we had, strengthened me to constantly be the best person I could. I wanted to learn cooking so I could care for you, I tried my best during my commando interview so you could be proud of me, I gym up so I could literally protect you physically, dress up nicely to show that you're important to me. I would run for miles should you cry out to me, I would even run butt naked in the streets if you tell me to. Have I ever rejected you even when you told me to hold that insect in the MRT when I was actually shaking inside? I would eat anything just to amuse you, like the salty bitter concoction you made during Jack's place. Plan up something special for you like the candlelight dinner or picnic day at East Coast park. Remember the day we went to Mount Faber for the cable car ride and the fake snow foam thingy. It had only been nearly 3 months together, and we've shared alot of memories together. I still want to journey with you in life together, I really do. I'm not asking for a perfect life together, for I myself am not perfect.

"A gentleman never rejects a lady's request."

All is fair in love and war. Fairness in the sense that you can use any underhand methods to win your opponents. Loser is always the weaker. It seems like you are looking for a man in life, I'm only a boy in your eyes. Sorry I cannot provide you the sense of security and maturity compared to him. When you said you saw potential in me, I guess you didn't realize how I happy I was. I felt like living just for you, caring and protecting you with all my strength. No matter how much I pour my heart out to you and prove that I'll always stay devoted to you, only time can prove my sincerity for you. I can only promise you that I'll be standing beside you in times of need for now. I'll be there to smile and spread my cheerfulness, a hug to give you warmth and a kiss to assure you that you are always loved. Until the day you decide to love me again, I'll be leading my own life with or without happiness.

"Life is unfair. Deal with it."
It's my favorite quote I made up.

I could literally feel my heartstrings thumping as I wrote this letter.
As I hand this letter to you, my heart will be shivering in hopes.
Every time I read back of what I've written. I feel that the letter isn't good enough. It was what I was feeling at the point of time. This is a letter of my feelings at this point of time. It might not be stable as I have suddenly felt a lost of strength.
Just say the words, and I'll be with you.
If you intend to follow as what Sam tells you too, just tell me too.
Worry not about hurting me. You have already made the decision to go back to him, however know that it is also up to you if you ever change your mind. You have the luxury to choose, do you know how lucky you are? If you ever doubt my love for you, read back everything I've written to you. I promise that I won't give you anything less than what I've promised, should you return to me.

This bottle of 1000 stars is a reminder our love.
That our love wasn't just a dream, but a moment of happiness while it lasted.
It also holds my promise that I'll accept you if you should return back to me.
Never forget the effort we tried to keep our relationship going.
It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

With well wishes and love,
Carlcarl.

Date: 11th March 2008.

Guess what, this is an 1000 word essay.. letter.



Ahahah.. Epic movie then Meet the Spartans.. now this! I love them all XD. Funny shit.